Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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