So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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