do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
