just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
