you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
