You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
