this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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