remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
