i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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