At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
