I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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