just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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