Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
