You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You left your underwear on the fireplace
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
