I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
