Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
