why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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