I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
