tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
