Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
