My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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