There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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