His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
