Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
is wine microwaveable?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I sprained my soul last night
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
