why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So many bounce houses so little time
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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