I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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