I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
