it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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