i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
