there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
