He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
In America we eat man semen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
