I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
