There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
