I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
