what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
