there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
