is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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