i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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