THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
