Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
