Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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