I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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