I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
