I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
