You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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