Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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