Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
