After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
