i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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