You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
