Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
